2014 saw me revisit the LP “Tales of Ordinary Madness” by the late 1980’s Bristol band, Head. Head were often in the weekly UK music press in that era, but like so many bands that it was easy to read about, I never actually really listened to them at the time (I was mostly into The Stupids and Big Black in 1988, though I later went out with someone who had some of their records once but I didn’t recall how they went, only her enthusiasm for the band and the fact that one of the members was very handsome and one was listed on the sleeve as “Plastic Bag”). Nevertheless I got a copy of “Tales of Ordinary Madness” from a charity shop sometime in the early noughties.<\/p>\n
It’s a strange record, somewhere between the Happy Mondays and INXS. It’s weirdly indie at heart, but with the big-glossy-thousand-pound-snare-sound production that stadium rock bands got back then (and a fair smattering of collaged sounds as well, including the earliest use I’ve heard of Radio First Termer<\/a> quotes – I’m seriously impressed that someone had a tape of that in the UK back in 1988). I think it’s really great, but I played it once to my friend Mark, one of the most indie people I know (and a former resident of Bristol), and partway through the second track, “Time and Time” he screwed up his face and just said “this is one of the worst bands I’ve ever heard” and made me switch it off. For some reason it never got ripped when I got an MP3 player, so after about 2003 it lay mostly dormant until late last year when I needed something to play in the car on the way to meet my mate Julian for dinner. <\/p>\n After giving it a few spins in the motor I decided it needed to be ripped for listening to at work and on the J-Pod, and it’s been on pretty heavy rotation since.<\/p>\n Information on Head is pretty scarce on th’internet; after Wikipedia<\/a> there’s this page<\/a> and an interesting review of their LP “A Snog on the Rocks” here<\/a> but certainly no lyric information online. It’s for this reason I have studiously tried to write out the words to “Jesus Ain’t Got A Daddy”, the 9th track on the LP and probably the weirdest. It’s important to note that we’re drifting into Urban Dictionary territory now so you shouldn’t read any further if you’re easily offended… <\/p>\n So this is what appears to be sung, although I can’t make out all of the words. The track itself is raucously funky and Rich Beale the singer appears to be joined by a Scottish sounding voice from time-to-time as well (could this be Gareth Sager<\/a>?), but those words that are decipherable constitute a seriously surreal stream-of-consciousness, combining what sounds like foppish Elizabethan and Wildean literary references (partly addressed to the mysterious “Lady Birdwhistle”), cockney stylings, the strange bluesy title-refrain, quotations from Alvin Stardust, soundbites from televangelist Charles Stanley (he<\/i> comes up if you search for his quote<\/a>) and the complete all-out smutty weirdness of whatever “Dark grizzle-pizzle, on thy hairy pie” really means; one<\/i> of those phrases comes up in Urban Dictionary if you do try to do a Google search for the lyric, but since the other draws a blank I figured I’d put the lyrics up here in case anyone else wants to search for them.<\/p>\n Standard disclaimer – these aren’t mine, they almost certainly aren’t 100% correct, and if they have to come down for any reason just let me know with a comment \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n ==================================<\/p>\n Alright Juan, give it to me!<\/p>\n Note, take note! Tidy.<\/p>\n How can she have had my baby? Jesus ain’t got a daddy (?????) An ode to Lady Birdwhistle Oo-Oo, my coo-ca-choo Let me wear thy chamber pot Get down!<\/p>\n Gaddafi duck goes quack-quack-quack! Aaarrrgh! (??? see your mother)<\/p>\n Oh lady, the other day, along my merry way “As I was walkin past the ‘ospi’al But it don’t matter! But! There is a vicious all-out Satanic attack upon the American home There is no head<\/p>\n (????) beautiful darlings up there, the very Reverend Bertram (???)<\/p>\n (???)…right down your chin Dark grizzle-pizzle…<\/p>\n Just one hour Swoon in my bosom<\/p>\n I want to swoon Forsooth ==================================<\/p>\nJesus Ain’t Got A Daddy<\/h2>\n
\nNote!
\nThe opulent stains……on my tights!<\/p>\n
\nI swear I haven’t touched her yet
\nHow can she have had my baby?
\nI swear I haven’t touched her yet
\nCome on!<\/p>\n
\nJesus ain’t got a daddy
\nJesus ain’t got a daddy
\nJesus ain’t got a daddy<\/p>\n
\n(???? an ode, not an odour)<\/p>\n
\nAn ode that’s \u00e0 la Mode
\nDark grizzle-pizzle
\nOn thy hairy pie
\nDark grizzle-pizzle
\nOn thy hairy pie<\/p>\n
\nI really love the things that you do
\nOo-Oo, my coo-ca-choo
\nI really love it
\nYes I do<\/p>\n
\nFirmly on my head
\nI’ll ride fearless into battle
\nUnderneath your bed<\/p>\n
\nGaddafi duck goes quack-quack-quack!
\nGaddafi duck goes quack-quack-quack!
\nGaddafi-daffy duck goes Quack! Quack! Quack!<\/p>\n
\nI heard a cheeky cockney chappie say
\nIn layman’s terms, forsooth<\/p>\n
\nI realised everyfing was possible
\nYa know they stuck three geezers on the moon?
\nWe’ll be drinkin’ on Uranus pretty soon!<\/p>\n
\nIt don’t really matter!
\nIt just doesn’t matter!
\nAt aaaaaaaaaaaaall!”<\/p>\n
\nHow can she have had my baby?
\nI swear I haven’t touched her yet
\nHow can she have had my baby?
\nI swear I haven’t touched her yet<\/p>\n
\nWhen two people in the family become absolutely legally equal
\nThere is no head
\nThere is no head<\/p>\n
\nOh Lady Birdwhistle, let me in
\nFor dark grizzle-pizzle
\nOn thy hairy pie
\nDark grizzle-pizzle
\nOn thy hairy pie
\nOh!
\nDark grizzle-pizzle
\nOn thy hairy pie<\/p>\n
\nIn your ivory tower
\nMmmm
\nOh! I’ve gone all pathetic
\nLady Birdwhistle
\nBe sym-pa-thetic<\/p>\n
\nIn your bosom
\nI want to swoon
\nIn your bosom
\nBut is there room
\nIn your bosom?<\/p>\n
\nFare thee well
\nMy pretty musk cat.<\/p>\n